The Restlessness That Kills

You will die. Maybe not within this hour, day, month, year, decade, but you will die. Don't just laugh and think "duh" in the condescending I'm-not-sure-what-condescending-means manner of yours, but truly ponder it, grasp it. This life, whether you believe in an afterlife, reincarnation, or that technicolored apes from space will steal your soul and replant you in another being from another planet, will end. Don't feed me your bullshit about how this life isn't about living forever, but about creating something that will. Yeah, maybe, I fell for that once, too. But how long until future civilizations forget your name? Until the books we read and the paper we write upon are nonexistent? You will never be immortal. At some point, even if your pathetic little achievements (which will mean nothing in one thousand years, by the way) manage to be remembered and hated by kids like you and I in classrooms or floating-fucking-spaceships, it will be proved that this world is not invincible... Fuck, nothing and no one is invincible, don't delude yourself. Millions of other creatures became extinct and thousands upon thousands of planets have ceased to exist in the time before us and in this time, right here, right now. Somewhere, on the brink of infinity, a star is exploding and swallowing the possible life around it. You are nothing, not even one blink of the universe's eye, hell, not even a blink of the earth's eye. I'm not saying this to crush you, tell you nothing is important... The exact opposite of that, in fact... Everything is sacred. Every grain of sand that glints in the sun, every wave shining silver that reflects the moon, every animals, every human, every life. Why? Didn't I just tell you none of it mattered? No. Never. We may be insignificant over all, but now...right here, right now, in the years you have left...

Believe me, there's not that many.


So why the fuck were you afraid to raise your hand and voice an opinion?
So why the fuck did you never pick up the phone to call that special boy or girl that you just couldn't stand to have reject you?
Why the fuck did you let some prick bring you down?
Why did you refuse to jump off that cliff into the water?
Why did you refuse to go to that concert?
Why didn't you ask her/him to dance?
What's holding you back?
Embarrassment?
...Really?

Do you honestly believe that in the future, outlined in some textbook on a musty shelf, will be the words "and then she turned him down."



What the hell is holding you back...?